dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
