And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
