True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
