hell yes lets make some ravioli
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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