I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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