Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
