Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
