Swine flu. Run for my life!
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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