I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
