But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm too high and old for this...
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
