It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
the room spins SO much faster in panama
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
