so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
