the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
