you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
