If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
