Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
