Yo dont text me then not text me
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
