This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
