Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
