Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
