um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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