I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
