dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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