New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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