Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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