your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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