My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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