Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
