why didn't you poke me back
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
