I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize
