doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
