college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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