I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
