I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You can't just leave with hair like that
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You don't make any sense
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