after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
