I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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