I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
