I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
