So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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