Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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