The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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