i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
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