Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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