So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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