Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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