So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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