Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Randomize
