she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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