so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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