Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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