You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
