i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Congratulations! We have a period
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
