i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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