Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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