Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
