booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
