He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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