Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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