I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
