In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
